


My Chaotic Nature

by Katliger



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Ben is an artist, Ben is bipolar, Ben really loves his girlfriend, F/M, Late night manic episode, One Shot, Rey owns a bookshop, late night sexy time
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-20
Updated: 2020-06-20
Packaged: 2021-03-04 03:34:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,459
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24816931
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Katliger/pseuds/Katliger
Summary: Ben is going through another manic episode even with new bipolar meds. Like any good girlfriend, Rey tries to mellow him out with some good old fashioned sexy times.
Relationships: Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 13
Kudos: 56





	My Chaotic Nature

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first time I've ever post something that is a little on the racier side. Mentions of bipolar and lots of fun medications. And here's a fun fact: sometimes it doesn't matter how stable you are on your dose of Lamictal, if you don't sleep enough for weeks on end, it's going to trigger a manic episode. So this little on-shot is brought to you by my manic episode. It's either write or clean my house again. 
> 
> There's no plot really, just me trying to write more and letting these two get it on.

It was four in the morning and Ben was still up painting again for the third night in a row. Sleep has eluded him no matter how much meditation he does or melatonin he takes. Not even sharing a mindblowing orgasm with his girlfriend is enough to keep him asleep for more than thirty minutes at a time. 

So Ben painted through the night, his hands covered in flecks of color, and his naked chest smeared with colorful fingerprints. He hadn’t bothered to put on anything save his boxers when he got out of bed after tossing and turning for hours. At least painting focused his mind instead of letting it run off into a million directions. 

He would crash eventually. No manic episode he’d ever had just ended in a return to stability. When he crashed, he would spend a few days barely able to get out of bed. His girlfriend would worry and probably call his psychiatrist or therapist, depending on how he was acting. They would talk him through, maybe discuss changing meds again and after a few days, he would just get up one day and be fine. 

But tonight he was still in the throes of a manic episode and his latest piece took shape under his hand, the colors in various shades of gold and blue this time. So focused on his work that he nearly jumped out of his skin when thin arms came around his waist and soft skin pushed up against his back. 

“Can’t sleep again?” Rey whispered into his back as she placed feather-light kissed on the planes between his shoulders. 

Ben nodded, “Yeah.” He dropped the paintbrush in his hand and placed his hands over Rey’s. “I don’t think this new medication is working out,” he said, turning in place to face her.

Rey looked up at him, undoubtedly taking in the dark shadows under his eyes from his restless nights. “Give it time, babe,” she said, cupping one cheek in her hand. He closed his eyes and nuzzled into the warmth of her hand then turned his head slightly to lightly kiss her palm. 

“Why don’t you go back to sleep, sweetheart. I don’t want to keep you up just because I can’t sleep,” he kissed her before loosening his grip around her so she could walk back to their room. But Rey held fast to him, tightening her grip around his waist. 

“I’ll stay up with you. I don’t mind. How about I make us some tea?” she pulled away and padded out of their spare bedroom that served as Ben’s studio. He watched her leave, clad only in her underwear and one of his shirts. He smiled to himself before turning back to his work. 

As a teenager, Ben loved the art he made during a manic episode. It was one of the reasons he fought his parents on taking medication. He spent so much energy on hating his mother because she forced him to see a psychiatrist. Just another adult who didn’t listen to him and had the ability to put him on a whole slew of medications. First, it was Vyvanse for ADHD, which didn’t have. Then it was Lexapro for depression, which was only one part of the problem. Plus a number of SSRIs for anxiety. Nothing help and eventually Ben just stopped taking them all. A few psychiatrists and many many therapists later he finally got the bipolar diagnosis. 

By then he was twenty years old and self-medicating with alcohol. He would spend days in manic episodes, going to classes without sleep, and staying up all night to paint and drink. But then again, he wasn’t much different from anyone else in art school. At least he didn’t chain smoke like many of his classmates. 

When he first started his first round of mood stabilizers, the dosage was not enough. Depressive episodes were more frequent and he missed more than a few classes just laying in bed, feeling too heavy to move. In his manic episodes, he started to spend all night painting then walking around campus and then the surrounding areas. That was how he met Rey. She worked in a small bookstore just off-campus, the same bookstore she now owned since her grandfather left it to her. Ben had stumbled in at 8am after spending hours walking around. And there she was, bright and cheerful first thing in the morning. He kept coming back day after day just to see her smile. Five years later and they were living together and she stayed with him every step of the way in his treatment. Rey was his rock and his muse. 

She returned a few minutes later holding two steaming mugs of herbal tea. While she sipped her tea, she stood to study the half-finished painting before her. Ben took the offered mug and sat down heavily in one of the two chairs he kept in the room. 

“This is the second painting this month that has featured my ass. I’m starting to think you have an obsession,” she laughed. 

Ben took a drink of his own tea to hide his face. “Maybe I do,” was his response.

With a mischievous gleam in her eye, Rey set her tea on the floor next to the empty chair and crossed the room. She stood in front of Ben for but a moment while he set his own tea down on the floor before she crawled into his lap and straddled him. Lean arms wrapped around his neck and knotted head his head. Instinctively, Ben’s came up and palmed her backside to stabilize her on her perch. He gave each cheek a squeeze, which caused Rey to giggle. 

“Totally obsessed,” she chortled and gave his nose a little kiss. Ben nuzzled into the juncture between her neck and shoulders and inhaled the scent that was distinctly Rey, lavender with a hint of old and new book. It was his favorite scent in the world. 

“What would I do without you, sweetheart,” he mumbled into her skin then placed a few kisses along the length of her neck. She shivered in his arms and threw her head back.

“Oh, you would go completely mad. Off your rocker. Straight to the loony bin for sure,” she quipped back and he laughed into her hair, the rumble fo his chuckle reverberating through his body. Once his laughter subsided, she continued, “You’d be fine, babe. I know it. Lamictal has been mostly good so far, your doctor just needs to up the dosage. And since you’re seeing her tomorrow, it should get better. I’m just here to make sure you go to appointments.” 

He pulled back from her a little so he could look her in the eye. “You do way more than just make sure I go to appointments. You’re my everything, my whole world. My muse,” his voice held such reverence because he meant every word. Rey looked as if she wanted to say something, but Ben cut her off. “And I know what you’re going to say. That I should depend on another person for my happiness or to fix my mental health. I take my meds for myself. But you definitely make my life brighter. I love you,” then he kissed her. Unlike the soft kisses they had exchanged since she joined him, this was far deeper, more passionate. Rey returned in with enthusiasm and she pushed her body closer to his as if she wanted them to merge into one single being. 

When they finally parted to breathe she smiled, “I love you too.” Her pupils were blown wide and Ben instantly recognize the look she gave him, lust. “Do you want to take a longer break?” she leaned close to his ear and her voice took on a husky quality. 

Ben felt a twinge in his boxers. They were already so close, it would take much to push off their underthings and fuck right there in the chair. “I think I could do that,” he said then capture her lips in a searing kiss. One hand moved from her backside to slide up her spine under her shirt to press her even closer to his body.

Rey’s hands moved to tangle in his hair where she pulled lightly on his wavy strands. He could feel himself growing hard and nearly cried out when she rolled her hips against him. A pleasant electrifying sensation powered through his whole body. When she rolled them again, it was she who let slip a loud moan. 

Fingers scrambled for waistbands. Ben successfully lifted his hips so Rey could pull his boxers down over his now completely hard cock. But he did not have as much success with her panties, unwilling to let her move from his lap. With a frustrated growl into her mouth, he gripped the material hard and the tore beneath his fingers. She responded with a grunt but continued to kiss him. It was the first pair of panties he had destroyed and he knew they wouldn’t be the last. 

Without waiting for a second more, Ben moved his fingers between their bodies and was met with the warmth of her arousal. They didn’t break the kiss even as she moaned again when his fingers entered her to work her open. It didn’t take long before she was ready for him, Rey was always eager when it came to Ben. With a final peck, he drew his face from hers as he panted slightly. 

Thin fingers lined him up to her entrance. They stared into each other’s eyes as he pushed forward and sheathed himself slowly into her. Ben closed his eyes and let his forehead drop to rest against hers. Then with a practiced motion, they began to move together in slow, languid thrusts. Ben tried to keep their pace even and almost lazy like they had all the time in the world. But it didn’t take long for Rey to grow impatient and she rolled her hips with more force and speed. 

“Ben, please,” she begged against his lips. And Ben couldn’t deny her. With a quick jerk of his hips, he thrust up into her roughly and she met him in kind. His orgasm hit suddenly and he groaned into her mouth as he released inside her. Rey continued to move her hips as she chased her own climax. Ben pulled away from her lips and brought his hand down to her clit to help her get there. He watched where their bodies were conjoined as he rubbed small circles against her clit. Rey screamed his name when she came and then slumped against him. 

Once more her arms wound around his neck and she pressed her ear against his heart. Ben held her tight as both tried to catch their breath before slowly pulling out of her. “Think you can sleep now?” she asked into his chest. 

Ben gave her body a squeeze, “Probably not. Don’t let me keep you up any longer, sweetheart.” 

It took several more kisses before Rey slowly eased herself off his lap and stood. Gently, almost reverently, she tucked him back into his boxers then ran her hands down his thighs as she stood back up. Ben stared at her in wonder now that she wore nothing else save his shirt, hair mussed from where he had run his fingers through, and lips swollen and red. To Ben, she was Venus herself standing before him and his brain itched for him to get back to painting, to capture the vision in front of him. 

As if she could see into his mind, Rey kissed him goodbye and left him to his work. Once he heard the click of their bedroom door, he stood from the chair and picked up his brush and paints and continued on until the dawn was fully realized and Rey returned to the studio with breakfast before she left for the bookstore.

“Take your meds, love,” she said before she left him with a goodbye kiss. Ben nodded dutifully and after the door clicked behind her, he went to his bedside table and popped on of the round white pills into his mouth. Since he didn’t bother with water, he gagged and made a face at the bitter chalky taste of the Lamictal.

Why couldn’t they make mood stabilizers in soft gummy flavors, like a fruit snack? He thought to himself. 

Only after she was gone was Ben satisfied with the painting. Quickly he cleaned off his tools and then headed straight for a shower to wash the paint and dried sweat from his body. Finally, he crawled into bed and let exhaustion take him only for him to wake again two hours later. He felt as if he slept longer or more like he was wired up on caffeine, but it was only a temporary feeling and the crash would happen eventually. 

He had time before his psychiatry appointment and used that time to rearrange their bookshelf in the living room. First by genre, then topic, and finally alphabetically by author. Once Rey got home she would complain that she couldn’t find a certain book since nearly every manic episode he had Ben would rearrange the bookshelf. He’d have to tell his doctor about it. 

When he arrived at the psychiatry office just before his 3pm appointment he was directed to sit and wait in the lobby. A text from Rey waited for him. “Fuck,” he muttered to himself as he looked over the text. It was a picture of her tits, clearly taken in the mirror in the bookstore’s bathroom. Under it was a simple message that had Ben’s head reeling.

_ Let’s see if I can wear you out tonight. _

The doctor called him back just after he sent a quick response. Ben found it hard to concentrate in the session, too focused was he on being home with Rey. For once, Ben hoped that this manic episode lasted long enough for him to fully wear out Rey and himself. For the remainder of his appointment, he fidgeted with his fingers, averted his gaze front the doctor, and generally thought of all he could do to Rey that evening. 

Manic episodes usually were a nightmare, but sometimes the right combination made it perfect for Ben. And Rey was a major part of that combination. He thought about how much he loved her and especially how much he loved to see her in nothing while he worshipped her body. Even in a manic episode, when it came to Rey, he could focus clearly on the task of making her come. 

He had big plans for their night.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading. I'm trying to work on one-shots to keep myself writing. This was just something fun, a little porny, which I haven't posted before. I sprinkled in a bit of me, (not the sexy stuff), but definitely the manic episode of rearranging the bookshelf. I definitely do that periodically. And I speak from experience because I literally did this today, don't take Lamictal without water. I couldn't get the taste out of my mouth for like half an hour. Blegh!
> 
> Anyway, hope you enjoyed. Come find me on the bird site at [@clumsyrogue](https://twitter.com/clumsyrogue). If you have any suggestions or themes on what I should write next, I would really love to hear them.


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